Dear Bridesmaid, It’s not about you.

So you get the call, “HE ASKED, AND I SAID YES!” you happy dance and squeal with delight from the excitement of your bestie getting engaged. After he asks her, it won’t be long until she asks you to stand by her side on their special day.

Here’s a few words of advice for you as you enter the bridesmaid line of duty.

Let me tell you sister, and I mean this with all the kindness in my heart… IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU.

I’ve shot plenty of weddings to witness when a bride’s closest friends-the people she wants standing by her side on her special day, make the day more about themselves than about their girl getting married.

No one cares what you did for your wedding day, how your hair looks, or if you should paint your nails or not. It’s so sad to me to see these peers fuss about things like wearing heels for the *whole* day, how hot they are in their dress, or complain about their makeup not being absolutely perfect.

GIRL. I don’t care if you have to wear stilettos with a long black dress while caked in crazy blue eye shadow in the middle of summer. If she asks you to do it-do it with a happy heart. After all this is her special day, not yours. 

Here’s some advice going in to your bridesmaid journey so you can be at the top of your game in supporting your friend.

• Offer to help whenever you can
• Go dress shopping (AND keep mouth shut if you hate the dress)
• Show emotional support
• Attend Bridal showers and bachelorette parties (AND participate)
• Be at the rehearsal dinner
• Hold her dress when she pees!
• Do something heartfelt (like right a letter telling your fave memory, or bring her favorite coffee the day of the wedding)
• Take lots of pictures with your phone (BUT not during the ceremony, and stay out of the photographers way)
• Offer to help the MOH-she’s going to have the most responsibility
• And lastly, WHAT THE BRIDE SAYS, GOES!

I hope you consider all of these things when you accept being in the bride tribe. Remember to have fun and support your girl!